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Snobbish or Just Don't Care At All?

jeSsfragile — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 03:05:07 -0800

It’s a pretty little thing that makes me think..Yip! I don’t know why..

Just this morning one of my girlfriend told me that someone likes (?) me..When she said that I was not a bit happy nor upset..It’s just a usual feeling..Just like a simple exchange of words from my girlfriend..I had feeling since then..but I don’t have any proof and I don’t want to prove it too..Not just because that I don’t want to..but just because of expecting too much..Of course, no one wanted to be hurt..No one wanted to shed tears..And I am also not a kind of girl who just want to make love or flirt to someone with any reasons..I hate to initiate cause I am afraid of being rejected..I hesitated cause I don’t want to look like any b*tch around..I hate it..I hate it..And even hated it more..Though I am real fighter..love makes me weak..Call me anxious..I don’t want to be too close for comfort..Call me whatever you wanted..I’m afraid to be hurt.. ( Sounds like I am not the one who is writing this..)

As they said, If you will just be afraid when you will be happy and contented? When you will fight your fears? When you will be loved? When you will experience true love? When you will fight for it? When you will fight for him?

Yet it seems exaggerated..This is what I feel right now..

After many hours..It sink in to me ( Late reaction! )

What if he likes me? Will it make a great impact? Will it change my world? Will it make me happy or contented? Will it make me change the way I treated him? Will I also like him? Or will I fall for him?

Questions that I can’t answer for now..

I can’t giggle just for knowing that..It s*cks! I don’t want to assume..I don’t want to expect for something to happen.. ( See how I am frightened? )

And what the hell he called me a snobbish one? Hey! I am not! Yet it looks like! But it’s just my curve eyebrows ( I don’t shave it! I am blessed with it! ) , the way I frankly talked..the way I observed things around me..And make ‘pintas’ to others..I am not proud or boastful..I just don’t care about others business..I ignore things that I can’t relate to, I can’t handle or I can’t stand to..Or even things that can’t enhance my abilities and capabilities..I ignore those persons that I know just wanted to make fond of me without any good reasons..I ignore those persons that I can’t make my life worthy..I ignore those persons who can’t make me happy and will just give me aches..You can know me better!

Am I snobbish or I just don’t care it at all?

Anyone can approach me..I can smile and not frown to everyone..I can also expresses what I feel..I am also a human..I know who are unreal to me..I know who appreciated me..

So stop calling me SUPLADA!!!

You don’t know the real me.

Better know me first. ( I won’t bite you! )

If you like me..Approach me then..

It’s up to you! I don’t want to continue no more!

Age Ain't Nothing But a Number

KimMeadows2008 — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 17:07:19 -0800

Age ain’t nothing but a number
A friend recently professed that she met my future husband at a political rally. Since I wasn’t making much progress in this area on my own I decided to take her up on this and find out what the excitement was all about.

She invited me to a networking event one evening that Michael, my supposed future husband, was scheduled to attend. Michael. Keri and I entered together and I immediately began surveying the room for the man she’s been talking up for days. The only description she afforded was that he was successful, tall and very attractive. He was right up my ally, so I thought.

The crowd was heavily skewed male and their age ranged from 25 to 60 (based on appearance alone). There were a few men with potential I thought to myself, both black and white. Most stood in small circles, cocktail in hand, actively engaged in conversation.

Keri pointed to a man at the end of a table against the back wall. “There he is. What do you think?” she said excitedly. Michael was seated with six other well dressed professionals. “He’s handsome” I responded but deep down I knew he was clearly not my type or in my desired age bracket.

The truth was he reminded me of my father, a little grey and round and soft in the mid-section. I wondered why my friend would think this guy was so perfect for me. However, since I came all this way I figured I should at least meet him and try to make the best of it.

It wasn’t just Michael’s age that caused me to pause. My first impression that night was that he was loud and boastful. Neither quality makes it to my top 10 list of attractive traits to look for in a man. Keri convinced me to give a brother a little slack as he was with his boys and likely had one too many drinks. A one-on-one conversation would definitely go better. Think again.

Two days later Michael and I talked and it was perhaps the worst first conversation I’ve had in years. He managed to do or say everything I feel a person should never say on a first conversation. At least those that fall on my short list of don’ts. I was honestly surprised that a 50-year old man didn’t understand these simple rules about dating.

• Don’t bore her by reading your self titled autobiography
The first conversation should be a dialog so ask questions to get the other person to open up about their interests. Michael talked 95% of the time about himself. He knows nothing more about me than the brief facts I shared with him when we were introduced. On the other hand, I walked away knowing that he is really impressed by himself…his job title and the 4 vacation trips he takes each year. I was also able to deduce that he makes between $90,000 to $650,000. He made this reference at least 2-3 times.

• Don’t get to cocky and try to bait her to massage your ego
“Have you left your man yet?” he asked coyly. A couple of thoughts ran through my mind as this question rang through my ears. Was he serious? Did he honestly think he would be worth it in just an hour’s conversation? I’m not in a relationship but to make a point I answered “No”. Sorry Michael, you’re just not that special. If he was being sincere, it just goes to show that he wasn’t listening when I said I was single.

• Don’t mention the 3 letter word S – E – X
Fellas don’t go here on the first phone conversation. Despite his best efforts to convince that he was interested in something more than sex, I don’t believe him. However, I did learn that it is fairly easy and convenient for him to pick up the phone and have sex delivered to his home. So you see he doesn’t need me for that. I still wonder what other services I could possibly provide.

Here are some friendly tips for that first conversation.…
1. Use it to learn and understand what type of woman you are dealing with.
2. Don’t assume a “one size fits all” approach with women. We are different and despite wide belief not all black women are attracted to a man for his money.
3. Dial down on the boastfulness. Confidence is great but too much of it leaves us wondering what you’re overcompensating for. Some women, like me, don’t find arrogance attractive.

Bottom-line don’t oversell yourself if there is no need to. You’ll risk running away a good woman when she’s only interested in the simple things. One thing for certain, the age of a man doesn’t necessarily mean he’s going to be wiser when it comes to dating. Michael, thank you for proving that age ain’t nothing but a number. I’d have better luck finding a 30-year old with the relationship maturity I’m looking for.

“Dating is simple; it’s just people that keep screwing it up.”

This is so cute....

scotlandrulz — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 14:15:45 -0800

♥ Girl: Do i ever cross your mind
♥ Boy: No
♥ Girl: Do you like me?
♥ Boy: Not really
♥ Girl: Do you want me?
♥ Boy: No
♥ Girl: Would you cry if I left?
♥ Boy: No
♥ Girl: Would you live for me?
♥ Boy: No
♥ Girl: Would you do anything for me?
♥ Boy: No
♥ Girl:Choose me or your life
♥ Boy: my life
♥ The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
♥ The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
♥ The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
♥ The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
♥ The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
♥ The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
♥ The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
♥ The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life

Group Therapy: Craving more passion in my relationship.

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 14:18:51 -0800

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years. We live together, and I enjoy his company, and obviously, I am very much in love with him. He is affectionate in his own way. He'll give me pecks on the lips, he'll hug me occasionally, and once in a while he will make me dinner. He always holds my hand or has his arm around me in public places, which I really love.

I miss passion more than anything. We rarely have sex unless we are drunk, and I rarely get any deep, passionate kisses. I feel so much for him, and I want him to be more passionate and romantic. I have spoken to him many times about this before, and he doesn't seem to care. Ya know, when I send him some short email just to say I love you -- it would count for something if he sent one in return. It would count for something if he returned any of what I do for him. I make it a point to touch him, or to kiss his cheek. I rub his back, his shoulders -- you name it. I make him dinner all the time, and lunch as well. I write him little emails, or leave little notes around. I feel increasingly lonely.

I keep finding ways to not be around him. When I look at him, and I see him playing with our kitten, and loving our kitten, I hate to say that I feel jealous. He seems to give everything love but me. I leave him alone, and don't bother coming out of the bedroom. I will not get what I really want.

I want to try to create romance or some passion. He doesn't seem to want to, or he doesn't know how to. At this point, I am tired of waiting -- and God knows I have for such a long time. What can I do to ignite a fire in this relationship and make him WANT to be more romantic and passionate? This is so frustrating to me, and I am at my wit's end.

Any help is appreciated.

Cosmo Article About Cheating is LAME

MommyQ — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 15:21:22 -0800

Yahoo! posted an article from Cosmo, "Dating 101: Will Your Guy Cheat on You?" and it's the dumbest thing ever. The only thing it does is stress out every female who reads it, while making every guy seem totally guilty. Nice way to plant seeds of distrust, Cosmo.

The article poses a variety of silly questions and disguises them as "Cheat Predictors." Was he spoiled as a child? Do his parents baby him? Does he work mostly with women? Can he talk his way out of anything? And the absurdity goes on. Here's my favorite quote of all,

Unfortunately, the bigger his wallet, the more likely your busy bee is to cozy up with an office buddy. According to a study conducted by Jan Halper, Ph.D., author of "Quiet Desperation: The Truth About Successful Men," top-tier guys have affairs more often than those on a lower rung, and not just because big bucks can be babe magnets. "Evolution has wired men to understand that the better they are at providing, the more appealing they are to women," says Alon Gratch, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of "If Men Could Talk."

Let me just say this. My husband is a spoiled brat who constantly gets babied by his parents regardless of his age. He works with a ton of women and many of them are extremely attractive. He's charming and tries to talk his way out of things. He makes rounds at parties, takes frequent business trips and has good-looking single friends who could be classified as womanizers. And guess what? He's a loyal husband and a wonderful father.

Will he cheat on me? I hope not. Will I cheat on him? It's not in my plans. We're just two people in love trying to make it work and raise our children as best as we can. That's what life is. You can't predict what your partner will do with quizzes.

My advice to Cosmo is stick to stuff you know like sexy beauty secrets, celeb diets and how to avoid falling down in stilettos. Ouch.

A personal trainers life is never easy...

mikeperryfitness — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 10:44:15 -0800

So here it is, my first ever blog, to be honest I don't even know what a blog is really. I know people chat about issue and their life etc. I just don't know why it is called a blog. Well, about me and why I'm here. I'll start with a basic intro. My name is Mike Perry, I'm a freelance personal trainer and I live in Gloucestershire in England. I have been freelance for 2 years and to be honest it has been a real struggle. Starting a business from scratch and trying to make ends meet is rather tricky for most people. I just seem to have started at the wrong time. Damn just my luck to start a Personal training business at the start of a gobal recession! Still I'll keep on going. Why? I have to, why? I love what I do, why? To help someone change their shape, size, fitness or just to make them feel good about themselves is the most amazing feeling. To see the look on someones face when they see the scales dropping weeks after week. It is so rewarding.

The only problem is clients. I need more, where can I find clients in the financial situation? Well I'm trying, I'm trying darn hard. I never started personal training to make a lot of money. I started it because I needed a change, I wanted to help people.
So, I love my job, I love the few clients that I have, I just hope that I can keep going.

I have even started to go into weight management programmes to see if that could generate additional income and keep me doing what I enjoy. It is actually rather good. I started my dear mother on the programme 3 weeks ago. She is loving it and has already lost 4lb. What better testimonial can you get than one from your own Mum. She hasn't felt so good in years, she told me the other day. I actually started on it myself (as weight management, rather than weight loss) and it is really good. So now my mission is to spread the word on my new system.

Going to have to hit it hard just after Christmas, I'm setting myself a target of the end of February. Which means, if I my business is not working out by then, I will fold up my company and get a job! The thought of which scares the hell out of me.

So that is me and what I'm going to be talking about in my blog. You can follow my progress (or not) over the next 3 months to see if I actually manage to keep it going.

Today -> No clients, one moved to tomorrow night. I did get a call from a lovely lady who I have done a few sessions with in the past and she wants a session on Thursday, which is great new! So something positive today, Hooray!

I'll be adding to my blog a least once a day, so check back

Should I just move on?

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 07:19:04 -0800

I am in my early 20s and I have a great job.
But here is the catch I am crazy about the director of my department (He is 42, divorced and has two kids, but so hot). We became really good friends a while ago, when I had quit my job to explore other possibilities. We met up during that time for lunches, and drinks on and off. And while we were not together we used to email each other or text each other. Just one line emails about nothing at all, or random texts. I used to get an email or a text from him every five minutes, unless he was in a meeting or I was stuck in one.
But now I am back in the same company and I have him as my Bosses Boss. We are still awesome friends and we always take our coffee breaks together, we text each other all day (as we can’t use email, or we will get in trouble).
He made it clear during our first meeting that he was never looking for a relationship. He just wanted to have fun, and I was comfortable with it, as he is a great guy. And a part of me always hoped he might change his mind ...
But now he just started dating another woman. And I can’t help but wonder, why her and not me? (She is 43, director of a women's organization)
I know more about his life that anyone else right now. We talk about everything, his kids, our work, his new relationship. I know his schedule for each and everyday.
Am I being stupid running after a man who is way too old for me? Or can a relationship still exist between two people no matter what the age?
Should I still pursue him, even though he is my boss and has another woman or should I just try to move on?

Confused & helpless

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:12:44 -0800

I have been with my boyfriend for not even a year yet, and I am beginning to think that it's not going to last very long.

My now boyfriend tried very hard to pursue me and i turned him down constantly, but last year, i finally gave in and he charmed me right away. i fell very hard for him and i know he felt the same. our relationship was incredible, but also incredibly short because i had to leave after a month

well, when i left, we spoke to each other every single day. all we talked about was seeing each other in 4 months (after one semester of college) and how amazing it would be.

then, i did the absolute unforgivable - i got drunk and when this guy who had been hitting on me kissed me, i kissed back.. only for a second, but i did it, and i felt horrible.

my boyfriend had been so amazing to me and i couldn't bare to tell him. however, after the 4 months of waiting were over and we were together again, after about a month, i told him what i had done. he was crushed and he cried so hard and said he had never even felt himself cry before. he broke up with me, as i had expected, but after a week, he said it would take time to forgive me, but he wanted to be with me because he didn't think he could be happy without me. i was extremely grateful and had been making it up to him ever since.

however, after another 4 months, i had to leave again. so i was away from him, and we finally got together again after about 2 months, and at the end of his visit, out of the blue, he broke up with me! he said he needed to focus on other things and he didn't want to feel obligated to talk to me when he wouldn't have the time. i was crushed and devastated, and i said fine, i don't want to beg you to come back to me.

well, after 2 days, he asked for me back again! i said no. however, after that, i went into his e-mail account because we know each others passwords and i wanted to look for an old email i had written him.. i just wanted to be reminded of how we used to be, but to my surprise, i found so many emails he had written another woman for over the course of months! how he loved that they snuggled together, and he kept calling her "his"... say her name is jenny.. he would write "all i want is a smile on my jenny's face" and he told her he had a sex dream about her. i was devastated!!!!!!!!!!!!! i felt like he cheated on me, but he said he didn't do anything with her. he said they only "snuggled" after i told him i cheated on him and she was comforting him. i was still livid - i was DONE with him (or so i thought)! we fought often over who did what.. we fight all the time. however, he tells me it's because the distance is so hard for us. he said once we are together again, it'll be okay.

i know i'm being weak when i say that all i want to do is see him because when we are together, he does make me happy. but this doesn't explain the breaking up with me the first time. also, those things he wrote to that other girl! i talked to that girl, and she said it was nothing, just shameless flirting. i know it seems obvious that we should break up, but do you think that he has a point when he says that it's just the distance?

How I met my boy :)

myswtghst — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 13:01:36 -0800

About 5 months ago, after a few months of self-imposed staying at home too much, my friend D dragged me out to karaoke night at our local watering hole, in large part because she wanted me to meet her friend AD. Apparently, AD needed to meet a cute, nice, sane girl to date, and D though we would be a great match.

Unfortunately, once we reached the bar, it became abundantly clear that AD was way more interested in our mutual friend J, and that I found him to be rather annoying. Even so, I let D drag me to AD's birthday party a week or two later. At the party, AD was again paying attention to no one but J...so I made friends with his roommates, including AM, a tall, lanky guy who seemed content to just chill on the patio. (Funny enough, I had met AM before 1-2 times at the bar, but only briefly, and at the time, he had long hair and wore a bandana so you could barely see his eyes - at this point, he'd shaved his head!)

I tried to mingle throughout the night, and be friendly with everyone, but I kept ending up out on the patio with AM. In the end, we spent a good three hours talking about life, beliefs, and everything else you can think of.

A few days later, I get a text from D, asking if she can give AM my phone number - I say sure. Sure enough, within 10 minutes, AM calls. We decide that we're both stuck at home and bored on a Friday night, so I should come over. I head to their apartment, and he takes me on a walk out to a park nearby, where we spend hours playing on the swings and slides, and telling our life stories - the good and the bad. This goes on until he finally works up the courage to ask to kiss me, and I say yes.

The rest is pretty much history...but we're still together now, and I've never been happier in my life.

Jimmy Choos, Prada, Manolo Blahinks, Oh and men too!

prettyeyeschick — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:34:28 -0800

So there I was surrounded by Jimmy Choo sandals, Prada sling backs, Manolo Blahink satin pumps, and in the middle of a fashion blank.

As I walked browsing, the sales clerk asked me "what kind of shoes are you looking for?"
"Something special" I said.
"Arent we all" she says and then proceeded to laugh hysterically.

It is normal to pick up the wrong type of shoes every now and then, so I carefully browsed and I began to think about the analogy between men and shoes.

Some shoes are drop dead gorgeous. But you have to pay a high ticket for. Then there are the "all that glitters isn't gold shoes". Those completely stricking stilettos that look absolutely fabulous, but after being worn for no more than an hour begin to cause unnecessary pain. There are the shoes you've worn out; ready to be thrown out, but for some reason or another you cannot part with. The shoes that make you feel secure, that you can step over anything and not fall. The uggliest of flip flops you wear out of the fear of walking barefoot, just to save face on a day when you have nothing to wear. The shoes that are a size too small, uncomfortable from the start, but that you still hope will loosen up and fit better. Some you need sole therapy after wearing. And the shoes that lose their allure after being worn once. But if you find the perfect fit, those magnificently designed beautifully sown shoes... well that my friend... is nothing short of a fashion miracle.

Men are often compared to shoes. Some cause blisters and calluses. Some are just an accessory, a part of the passing through. But once in a while if you are fortunate you will find that there is the one who not only is gorgeous inside out, and an ideal fit, but most of all your something special....

The roller coaster ride

prettyeyeschick — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:31:33 -0800

The worst thing about NOT being in a relationship is having to give advice about love.

I love my friends and if there's something I can do to help. I'm the first one there. But at times having to give advice is a bit draining. Especially when you have to give advice about something you never followed.

It reminds you that at some point that's not something you believed in. And that if you had maybe there would have been a different outcome.

But there I was on a roller coaster, of all places, when my friend turns and looks at me and says "What do i do? What would you do?"
"Scream" I said. She says "Why?"
"Because we are about to drop" She looks down and realizes it. And we scream.

When we get off, she realizes I haven't given her any advice so she asks again. I look at her and say "Love is a bit of a roller coaster. Sometimes you're up and laughing with giddiness. At times you are down. Screaming inside, holding your stomach with nervous pain. Sometimes you feel like you are on top of the world. At times you feel like your feet are dangling in the air. Its a risk, its thrilling. But no matter how many times you loop or turn in ways you didnt think possible at the end of the day everything will be okay. You need to realize that no love is perfect, that it can be a bit chaotic at times. But if you're fortunate you learn to hold tight. And to laugh after facing those drops. You learn that some rides are worth enduring."

She laughs. "You always know the right thing to say and the right thing to do". I smile because that is untrue. If it were I would of chosen a roller coaster instead of a 100 ft drop elevator for mine...

Chasing Mr. Unattainable

prettyeyeschick — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:21:15 -0800

was 5 when I realized that tag was one of my least favorite games. I was in junior high when I realized guys never stopped playing tag. I was in high school when I realized you could get hurt chasing someone.

Tag required running after someone that you never quite knew if you could catch. When played with boys it was even more challenging. They were sneaky and too fast for my taste. The minute they were a grasp away, they’d change direction and be gone in the blink of an eye. At times “you’re it”, at times your not, but when you spent that amount of time running the pursuing became a hunt.

I was sipping chamomile tea three weeks ago when I realized I still hated tag. When you are older and a game of tag is what “He” has in mind, then you might as well stop running, sit down, grab yourself a soda pop and let him come to you. It’s cute when you’re five to chase someone; it’s a child’s game then. But if you’re in your twenties and older and he’s still playing tag well it’s simply that- a game.

At times it can feel like you are the only one that is “it” and that the person you are running after is miles away. If he doesn’t call you, txt, or email you until you do so how can you possibly think he is interested? But if you don’t call, txt, or email how can you expect him to really want you?

It is said that a person of independence who does not need nor wants us inspires our admiration. And admiration is a love potion. But it’s also true that a person who needs us to much inspires pity. And pity, the other side of admiration, is the antidote to love.

And it’s true. We pursue with the hope that he or she will see that we are interested. But when you are the only one showing interest you can appear desperate or needy. Making this game of love even more trickier… even more a risk.

There comes a time when you have to stop, catch your breath, and strut out of the game with whatever dignity you have left. So waste a pair of good shoes with the most sincere wish to finally capture Mr. Unattainable or finally realize that Mr. Unattainable is just that… out of reach…

The dress theory and then some

prettyeyeschick — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:17:46 -0800

I rummaged around through the racks looking for a dress for a special occasion. And that’s when I saw it; the most beautiful 1950’s vintage yellow silk dress. It was a one-shoulder dress with a bow cascading over the shoulder with exquisite crystal beading around the waistline. I tried it on to find that it looked even more amazing on. Perfect fit, tailor made just for me. My fashion side would have bought it in an instant but my cynical side thought I could find something better and less pricey. So I put it back on the rack, promising myself that if I didn’t find anything else I liked I would come back and buy this dress.

After many tight silk pencil dresses, itchy chiffon dresses, too bright colored gowns, and non-flattering out fits I found myself a bit disappointed. I had yet to find something to wear. A bit defeated and very much ashamed of the time wasted, I found myself traveling to the first store. And as I desperately searched the racks, I observed a girl getting out of the fitting room wearing the dress that was supposed to be mine. She twirled around showing it off to her friends as captivated as I was by its beauty.

So there it was the most perfect dress, just feet away, and there was nothing I could do to stop her from taking it. My best friend who was shopping with me looks at me, points, and says “See! The dress theory!” And we laugh because some truths are undeniable.

The dress theory is simple. She says that many times we walk into the store to find that the first dress we try on fits us perfectly. But since it’s the first dress we’ve seen or liked we pass it by hoping that the next store will offer something even more ravishing. Only to realize later that there wasn’t anything better and that we were fools for letting that opportunity pass us by. She compares this to love. And its true. Many times we let the things we really need pass us by because our cynical side hopes that somewhere out there someone better will arise. Sadly it isn’t till many non-flattering outfits later that we realize just how special that person really was. But more than likely by then it’s too late. And through our hands we let slip away what could have been.

It’s ironic and the theory is very much amusing. But it’s undeniable. Its true that choosing the perfect dress for a special occasion is complex. There are many details you have to think about. But it’s also true that the right dress can make you feel absolutely beautiful. If only we wouldn’t fool ourselves. See there are moments in life where you hope your decisions aren’t rash. And moments like this when you just know…

My bf has a Obsessed aunt. Need some Advice!!!

lauraxtc — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 10:38:34 -0800

I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 months.
Things are great. He is attentive, passionate, and caring we try to spend as much time as possible since, he works to jobs, the only time he has for me is on the weekends. He sometimes does not go home until the next day.
He is 22, I am 24. He still resides in his family’s house. I have noticed though, that his family treats him like a child. He is the oldest of 3. He was actually born and raised in El Salvador and now is here in the United States.
Well, what I am trying to say is that he has an aunt that basically raised him in El Salvador; she is also here in the U.S. She is very nice, and attentive with him. She does, his Laundry, cooks for him and makes sure he is taken care of. She even buys his boxers and calls her a baby! I have no problem with her, but it kind of freaks me out. Ever since I came in the picture, I feel as if she is jealous of me. For example, we will be in the movies, and she will be texting him, saying “what time are you coming home? Don’t come home late, make sure you have a sweater” and creepy things like that. She will text me and asks me if “her baby is with me.” Although she is nice to me, I feel as if she is only being that way because I am his girlfriend. I feel like she is trying to intimidate me.

He seems like he is into me but this has really turned me off. Especially yesterday, I was visiting them and she confessed to me that she gets jealous with him. I tried to ask her why she felt that way and she changed the subject. I feel like there is something else going on in her head other than her being some what like a mother to him.
She is in her late 30’s and has no boyfriend, no kids, the only thing she has is her dog and my bf.
What I am trying to get with all of this is; how do I handle this situation?

Sincerely,
Freaked out by his Aunt…

My boyfriend does not understand women

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 03:05:40 -0800

I've recently started dating a guy for a month and I find myself in a very complicated relationship already. The guy does nt understand women, and when I say that I mean, he does not understand anything about them! He expects women to think, react and communicate the way men do, and it is causing us to clash so much because he won't try to understand me, but rather just generalise that I'm a typical woman. He's views of women tend to be around negativity, that we are b*tches, conniving and decietful. I have tried to be careful with what I say, as even jokes come out offensive and full os deciet (even though jokes are like that??).

I really like this guy, it is not so easy to let go. How do I deal with a situation like this? When we argue I actually feel guilty for feeling things a woman does, but how do I make him understand that men and women are different and that our brains function differently!! I'm always made to feel like the bad guy because he says I don't understand him if I don't react to a sitation the way he does, but I'mjust feeling the strain, he won't even try to understand me and accept my differences. I don't want this relationship to finish, but I do think he will walk away.

Can anyone help? How do you make a guy understand women!??

Come on over... my treat?

glammaniac — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 17:57:06 -0800

It's all about Liam again, of course. This guy's finding new ways of making me weak in the knees...
Yes, we've kept in touch and I have been missing him so much.. After my first post I didn't even have to decide because he wrote to me first.. Basically expressing how much he had loved being with me and hoped we could see each other again soon.. oh, and that he thought about me every day... aw...
I feel he really gets me, and most of the time I'm around insensitive jerks.. maybe that's got something to do with the fact that I'm so attached to him.. or maybe I just feel they're all jerks _because_ there's Liam... Anyway, I'm not my therapist and I wouldn't want to be, so I'll get to the point!

He's officially invited me to come and see him.. The thing is.. I had recently planned on going to the States to see a friend of mine in LA. Liam lives in NYC and so there was the possibility that I could go to New York and meet him. Buuuut, I had to cancel my trip for financial reasons - economic crisis = it was suddenly out of my budget. So I told him I was really upset but it just wasn't happening for now... Here's what he said:

"Well I do hope you are well. I was bummed to hear that your trip to the US got ruined. That's no good. If you don't get a chance to come to the States soon, then I will have to get you over somehow even if I have to carry you myself! Maybe next year sometime? It's up to you..."

I may be getting the wrong idea but I believe he's saying it would be on him... If that's it, well, he's just adorable.. but, as much as I'd LOVE to go, I don't think I could accept such an offer.. Still, I want to make sure I'm not mistaken before saying anything to him about it..

Any ideas/comments?

EDIT:

First of all, I want to thank you all for your comments, they got me thinking a lot.. And I realised there's something important I forgot to mention. The main reason why I wouldn't ask him to come is because he spends close to 10 months of the year travelling because of work, no joke, I _know_ this. He's never home, how can I ask him to leave it when he lives to miss it? And he's told me a bunch of times that he's getting tired of moving so much.. The fact that he's thinking of sharing with me that little time he gets to be at home is sort of comforting.. don't you think?

when the past reaches in to the present

prettyeyeschick — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 16:06:34 -0800

“Miriam!”
“Yes!” I turned suddenly to see my friend with her hand on her hip
“Aren’t you listening to a word I’m saying?”
I smiled a crooked smile and said “frankly my dear… no”
“Ah! What is wrong with you”?
“Nothing”
“Yes there’s something wrong. We just passed Neiman’s and you didn’t even glance.”
“Oh, did we? When?”
“Somewhere in between… what’s with you?
I sigh one of those horrible sighs that reaches into your heart and makes it skip a beat
“I don’t know. It’s a mixture of hormones or my past reaching into my present. My present making me feel jaded, my future being a blur. Or the lunch we just ate that gave me heartburn. Take your pick”
She laughs, “You need serious shop therapy and I know exactly what will do the trick” so she swings me around and we head straight to the vintage shop I love.

She drags me through the rows of 1950’s dresses, art deco pieces, and old tacky furniture. I drag my feet through the store not showing interest in anything. I’m having one of those days where nothing catches my attention or moves me deep enough to drop hundreds of dollars for. So it isn’t long till we leave the store.

The only thing I was craving was about 7 ounces. And his name was Latte. After getting our drinks. I sit down as I wait for my friend who decided she needed a bathroom break. I sit reading my email on my phone. As I hear a familiar voice say my name. Chills run down my body, as I look up, and the “Past” is staring straight at me.

Before I could say anything, he was all ready sitting down, staring into my eyes the way only he knew how.
“How are you?” those were the first words I blurted. Not – I hate you; you broke my heart, or the other thousands of things I’d planned to say when I saw him again. No! Just a simple “how are you?" What followed was a polite, short conversation about family, current jobs, and simple weather conversation. His phone rang; he looked up, and said, “I should go”.
“Oh ok” I said. But he didn’t, he just looked at me and smiled
“Yes?” I said
“You’re still just as beautiful” then he turned around and walked away. And my heart began to beat again.
“Who was that?” Said my friend returning from the ladies room.
“No, one.”
“Right… You’re doing that thing.”
“What thing?”
“You bite you’re lip when your nervous, who was he”
“A bad habit I had to break,” I said as I bit my lip.

Life’s funny that way. Just when you put it behind you. Just when you forget where you have been. The past comes back into your life and you realize you still care. The next day as I was at work I was angry with myself for letting him stir something inside me. I hated the feeling, the emotion, the moment. I went through my email still having a very serious conversation with my self when I peeked at my inbox. And sure enough there it was, he’d written an email. It was short and simple.

Hey kid. Just wanted to tell you it was good to see you again. I didn’t lie… you look absolutely beautiful.

I hated when he called me kid. And his nerve to just jump into my life like that. Ah! I slid my cursor to the delete button and in that moment I wished not only to erase a simple message, but the past, the memories, the tears, the pain, the feelings that still remained. I clicked it frantically. Maybe I wasn’t looking at what I pressed but when I looked up the screen message read “Message has been moved to your outbox. You can view the message by going to your Outbox folder”. And I sighed one of those horrible sighs again, yes, the ones that reach into your heart and make your heart skip a beat.

See that’s the thing about the past. Sometimes there are no delete buttons. No way of erasing those tragic or desperately hurful moments or people from our past. Maybe it just gets shifted to another part of our lives or somewhere deep into the back of our hearts and our minds. Till the moment when you’re strong enough to face it again or till your outbox is too full that it over flows into your present...

Boxing away yesterday

prettyeyeschick — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 15:30:03 -0800

There it was their whole story down to one box. A box full of pictures, CDs, memories, and gifts.

When she was done gathering all the things that belonged to yesterday she thought long and hard about what she was to do with it.

When a relationship ends it’s a ritual to remove all things that remind you of him/her. Many people frantically gather their things and or even burn them. They bring down the pictures, remove all the gifts, fold away all the memories, like if by removing all the physical objects they could do away with yesterday.

But does it really make a difference if you have that box hidden under your bed, collecting dust, or it being far away at a landfill, becoming dust? Can you really throw away yesterday by simply removing all the things that remind you of it? Or do we kid ourselves by thinking its easier to forget this way – after all… isn’t healing a process?

She didn't want to forget, put it past her, like it never happened. She'd rather not pretend that song on the CD he burned for her didn’t make her cry once. That his cards always made her smile. Or that the t-shirts that he brought her from his trips, are still brand new because he forgot she didn’t wear t-shirts.

She decided to keep it all as a way of accepting everything that reminded her of all the pain, all the memories, and all the lessons that yesterday brought. It’s not that she can’t part with these things. I’m sure with time all those objects will collect dust and in due time they will be only a memory. But as of now, she needs them. To remember the story, to accept her mistakes, to grow… so she can have a future. It’s true we lose our battles but it’s also so true we win wisdom for the days ahead.

Thinking back now, there are so many moments of her life she wishes she could go back to, hitting the stop button at just one moment and erasing everything that came after it. But each place she could think to push stop would mean missing something that came after it. Like the lessons she's learned and the strength she recovered. She needed it all in the end, to let her own story find its finale…

The sister hood of the traveling Häagen-Dazs

prettyeyeschick — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 15:24:36 -0800

It is with time that you learn that it’s the friends that listen to you complain when you call at two in the morning, because your thinking about how much you hate him, the friends that are willing to sit through your “memory box” of old letters, gifts, and pictures and cry with you, and the friends that sit through a conversation you’ve had 10 thousand different times before and not complain that matter.

So there we were in the middle of what seemed to be a tradition now. My closest girlfriends and I together, at my house, after one of them had suffered a recent heartbreak.

That’s what we did when one of us was in need of serious wallowing. We surroundeded ourselves by our remedies of heartbreak. Chips, chocolate, pizza, champagne, lemon and pickles. And of course assorted pints of Häagen-Dazs, And we talked and talked till there were no more words to say. Or till the pain was overpowered by laughter or serious heartburn. And then we watched a movie. A good classic movie that reminds us that no matter how bad things are at the present time eventually all twist unravel into happy endings.

Pass the Häagen-Dazs….
Are you sure? You’ve ate a whole pint all ready
So!
Since when are you against wallowing in ice cream
Since it’s the last one – and we all laughed…

True friends unlike love always last forever. Life will bring wonderful memories, desperately tragic moments, and countless broken hearts…But at the end of the day life is worth all those ups and downs when you have friends to share them with or a pint of Häagen-Dazs... take your pick.

Never Gamble what you're not willing to lose

prettyeyeschick — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 14:37:50 -0800

"Love is like a game of poker. You have to know when to “all in” and when to back out or else you’ll lose everything.” My friend read from the back of her Starbucks cup.
“That’s funny”
“What if you don’t know how to play poker?”
“You don’t know how to play poker?”
“No.”
“Then you “Go fish”’
And we laughed as we discussed the rules of poker.

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. When it comes to falling in love you cannot approach it cautiously. It will not wait for you to arm yourself. Love, like gambling, has risks involved. In fact Love might be the greatest of all risks.

Maybe that’s why some people thread slowly through life. Avoiding the closeness risk brings. Never taking chances out of fear of losing everything. Never realizing that by not taking those risks they lose their chance to win at love. “You should never gamble what you’re not willing to lose” Someone told me that once. No one should gamble away their opportunity at love. But there are those who risk love willingly. It isn’t till facing the loss of all the things they hold so dear that they realize they gambled more than they could afford to lose.

With love there’s never the reassurance that if you give your heart away that person will love you back. Or that it’ll work and a happily ever after will be written. There’s no way of knowing the future. Or the cards life will send your way.

In poker the only way to stay in the game is not to fold. Given a bad hand you might want out quick. So it’s true that in a relationship a bad hand (a bad relationship) can cause even the most optimistic of hopefuls to become skeptic. Folding out quickly before bets are placed in their next relationship.

It is said that it is in total surrender of all defenses that we truly experience love. I agree. At times you just have to take a leap of faith. Believe with out seeing, hope with out knowing, and dream with out grasping. It takes time to learn when to “all in” or when to call someone’s bluff. Sometimes you just have to face the cards you were dealt and pray for Aces or a Royal Flush. And realize that no matter how many bad cards love deals you… in the end… there is always healing and growing.

Need advice about a guy... already posted once just want more advice to make the right decision.. please comment..

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 20:22:23 -0800

There is this guy in my class. I have had a crush on him since the beginning of the semester.. I knew he had a girlfriend so i didnt dare go for him. Out of the blue we started talking. And flirting... The conversations got really hott and heavy. It was decided by myself as long as he was taken we werent going to go any further. Meaning nothing sexual, etc. He was all about having sex with me and getting with me. Also his girlfriend cheated on him and had sex with another guy about 2 weeks ago. I dont see why he would stay with this girl when she had sex with someone else So a couple of days ago we hung out and he cheated on his girlfriend with me, we made out for 2 hours. I know its not much but its enough to be considered cheating. At this point we have talked about being together and its iffy because he says he still love his girlfriend. I dont see how he can still love his girlfriend after making out with me for 2 hours and knowing she had sex with someone else. I need help!!! I like this guy a lot and i want him to go for me and get rid of this girl. What do i do???? Do i continue to make out with this kid?? I dont want to be led on but i dont want him to be out of my life yet?? Also something i should throw in there that some people see as a big deal but i dont.. Im 21 years old and he is 18 years old. HELP!!!!

Need help with getting a guy....

lolbuttercup45 — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 14:40:48 -0800

Lord Toph is quite the ladies man! hahaha

OMyStars — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 10:46:00 -0800

Despite the hectic schedules they both seem to have, and the distance between them, not to forget the drama surrounding the relationship. They seem to be happy and not letting the media get to them, terrible things have been said all over the internet about each of them as individuals, and as a couple. It seems that when we (the average citizens) see something so wonderful, we do whatever we can to tear that apart and find the flaws, so we can say..."See they are not perfect either". Whether it be, jealousy, envy, or the lack of understanding. I mean, I can understand the initial shock when we first heard this story, I believe she was still in a relationship with B.A.G. and had not yet split with him publicly.

A lot of the problems seem to lay in the difference of the race, between these 2. It seems that in America today, people still find it difficult to appreciate a good relationship, and want to poke at couples that do not seem to fit in the eyes of "whoever". I read some pretty terrible things aimed at lord Toph, Calling him "Subhuman", and Megan Fox also...I mean, I just read an article about "Why to hate Megan Fox". Why is it that we feel like we have to hate? I mean, we all hated her with BAG, loved her single, and Hated her with Lord Toph. Ever since the affair leaked out, Lord Toph seems to be "becoming", I say that because, his music is so romantic and sexy (For Goth, or Rock) But of course I hear SEXY music all the time, Isn't that what drives people to create, and also listen? Love, Sex, and desire? Well it seems to have inspired him a bit. He has some music that I am still trying to figure out what the lyrics actually mean, but in my recent viewing of his latest music video entitled "Love and Shadows", it was easy to understand. I first took a look because I had heard how it was #1 for so many days, it's obvious that this video has got to be about her too, I heard about his other music video "Mesmerized" and how it had to do with her, well in watching "Love and Shadows"...for a minute, I actually thought it was Megan Fox in the video, but it is too hard to tell. But in this video you can see, hear, and feel the love and passion between them, and I admire that! Regardless of her acting talent and his appearance (that we all seem to want to bash).

Speaking of appearance I mean these two are a Sexy Hot couple, they both have a great sex appeal, Lord Toph is very very classy for a Goth Musician, I must say! Apparently this is not the underground Lord's first high profile Girlfriend either, It seems he dated the late Russian Model/Celebrity BodyGuard Anna Loginova, They apparently met at a party in New York, which is how Megan Fox and Lord Toph met also, although some reports say they met due to the fact that he is to appear on the soundtrack for Jennifer's Body. He also dated Mariya Mironova. So needless to say, he has great taste in woman, and sexy woman seem to be captivated by his sex appeal and romantic nature. Men are obviously very attracted to Megan Fox as well, her lips, hair and most lately... Her breasts, which is why I think men take such offense to the relationship. (what a joke jealousy can be, especially when they act like they actually have a chance ... LOL)

Well, 'Love and Shadows' is very telling, and I just want to say... Megan Fox and Lord Toph... I support you and the relationship, I hope it all works out for you both, you make a hot couple. I think you just may be the next 'Meganoph', or "Tophegan' and in some ways you remind me of 'Branjelina'... lol

Boyfriend

hihowareya — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 19:04:54 -0800

I love my boyfriend so much.

But I don't like the word boyfriend. I don't like telling people about "my boyfriend." I feel it makes me sound like I'm a teenie bopper, or that I'm not in a very serious relationship.

We're both 24, and have been together for over 5 years. We've discussed marriage, but there's a number of reasons why that's not in the cards any time soon, though we do want to ultimately spend the rest of our lives together, if all things work out.

Aaanyway, the purpose of this post was just for me to let out my issues with the word "boyfriend" and perhaps to see if others had the same issue.

Ok bye.

is there a chance of we getting together again, after THIS break up?

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 15:04:18 -0800

I am 25 years old. here is the story.

a month ago:

I reunite with this friend of college, we get together a couple of times more in a few parties of friends in common.Then he tells me suddenly that he likes me since college, that he didn't saw any interest of my part, so he let me away and went to have a couple of GF, one of whom he was gonna married, but didn't.

A week ago:
after a couple of dates, he went to see me to my house, we went to movies, etc, I finally tell him I did want to be her GF.After a lot of years (5 years!) without BF, I told myself "you do like him, give it a shot!"I talked to a couple of our friends, to see how they think about it, they didn't tell me not to, but tell me "well, he had a long relation ship, he was going to get married, he could get weird…" and some other things. But I wanted to feel it my way.

a couple of days ago:
after 4 very happy days, I feel so nice with him, we could talk, and laugh and kiss, etc, one day, out of nowhere, I swear I didn't see it coming, he told me that he thought things thoroughly and that he had make a mistake, that he isn't ready, that he had unresolved issues about his ex. I took it very calm in front of him, that I knew about his past, that it was OK. When he left, and I saw my sister in law I start crying, I can't understand clearly why. I felt so good with him, I was having a very nice time, and I tell you, I didn't see it coming! We were OK one day, the next day, literally, he broke up things.

Now:
I talked to a couple of friends and 2 of them told me that maybe, maybe we still have a chance if he resolved his issues. We did break up nicely (uh!?) That he was sincere and he need it more time. This was only a week ago. So WHAT TO YOU THINK?

Please Help! I Dont Know What To Do!

MyOwnGirl — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 14:44:01 -0800

Okay Well My Bff Went On vacation for a week, and she just got back. We hugged and said hi, but she was acting awkward and weird. i asked her if everything was okay, but she looked at me and smiled and said "Cass, Im more experienced than you." and she broke out giggling. I asked her what she was talking about,. She said that she had fun, but when she came back, she left her virginity in Georgia. I was awestruck! I asked a bunch of q's, but im not sure wheather to support her or scold her for giving away her viginity at her age. What Should I do?

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 07:01:52 -0800

I love my boyfriend, but he has this intense fear of change.

Good Stuff: He is affectionate, caring, loves me, loyal, talks about our future together, steady job, and completely trustworthy.

Bad Stuff: He is generally good with money, but has trouble not immediately buying things he wants- running him into about 8K+ of credit card debt, he tend to hold things back until he explodes with anger- saying horribly nasty things, then apologizing later (this has caused 2 breakups in our 2.5 years together), and most importantly- HE HATES CHANGE.

Let me elaborate on the hating change... after college, he moved home, just while he started grad school, right? well... 8 years later, when his work was an hour and a half away and he was spending over $600 a month on gas, he finally moved to the town he works in- great, right? Except any possible excuse he can have to go back, he does. He has a class down there one day a week- ok- but then he found some clients down there... now he's looking for more (he's an accountant). I've told him several times that I couldn't ever live down there, it would be a 2+ hour commute to my work, and he agrees, but keeps returning there for everything from groceries to cleaning supplies.

Recently- he's had some trouble at work, and came very close to getting fired, because he is not proactive- if he is missing something, he lets it sit there unfinished-- doesn't chase the missing info.. etc. Anyway- his boss, who thankfully didn't fire him, just cut his days back, mentioned to him that he wants to start a new branch of the business and wants my boyfriend's help. Boyfriend asked if they wanted to advertise for new clients, the boss said no, they would stick to the town the business was in for now. Boyfriend on the phone with me that night tells me this, then says he's going to hunt for more clients in the businesses where he grew up- I pointed out that the boss said THEIR town, and those were an hour and a half away.

He threw a fit.

Told me I was bursting his bubble-- he wanted to start with places who KNEW him- when I tried to explain that it worried me a bit that whenever anything came up he returned to the hometown- he refused to discuss it. Normally I spend a great deal of time making him feel better, calming him down so we can talk- but I couldn't do it last night- I told him I loved him but was going to bed and he said it back and slammed down the phone.

Is this refusal to leave the "comfort zone" going to be permanent? Things improved so much when he moved, I thought we were really going somewhere- but now I'm realizing that despite telling me I'm "the one", this refusal to change might be why we haven't gotten engaged. And if we do get married- is he going to forever be dragging me down to his home town?

I'm willing to give up an area I love living in, and take a longer commute to work so he can be closer to his job, but I'm not willing to move to an area I really dont like and have a 2+ hour commute, so that he can keep using the same grocery store he has always used- am I asking too much? I'd rather we built a new life together, not have one person give up everything and the other nothing.

Please help!

Group Therapy: Stuck in the Same Rut

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 04:00:00 -0800

I've been in a long on-again, off-again "fling" with a guy that has a regular cycle of breaking up with me when I say I want something more serious. He admits he has a problem opening up and that it's very hard for him to discuss (or even understand) his own emotions, which is why things have never really worked out between us. Then, every time I think it's over, he reaches out to me again. We've both briefly dated other people, but we are each other's number ones.

In the last few months, he has sporadically burst out with his emotions about his confused feelings for me and last week he suddenly told me he loved me!! I know he hasn't said the L word to anyone for a long, long time so I would say this is forward progress on opening up. However, since then we haven't discussed anything and I'm now paralyzed by fear — I don't want to jinx it. Should I just see what happens or should I say something? I know we can't walk away from each other but I feel like we can't move forward either. What do I do?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

Source

Feeling a little down.

JessicaCayne — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 13:45:26 -0800

So! As a female, it's pretty hard to wake up and feel good about yourself. We are bombarded by impossibly gorgeous women, impossibly skinny women, and impossibly talented airbrush artists... I have had my own personal issues since I was fifteen and LORD I have been dealing with them lately. Talk about the beast rearing it's ugly head...

Anywho, in the business I am in, you have to look a certain way and be a certain way, and it sucks. It would be great to just chill and not have to think about every single thing I put in my mouth. You know, not worry about how many calories are in an apple, or many ounces of grilled chicken breast I am putting on my plate. It's hard, but it's my job... It's all-consuming.

I could write and write about how hard it is to be a woman nowadays. How difficult we have it. How hard we make it on ourselves and other women, and how hard men make it on us. Yeah, I could write and write about it. I could write and write about how many young girls are hiding eating disorders and how many young girls are plagued with body dismorphia and how sad it is. Yep. I could write for hours on all that crap.

I don't want to. THERE IS SO MUCH NEGATIVITY! We are reminded constantly of all the negativity. Ladies, I love you and I am making it a point to love myself. Let's love ourselves and love each other. Let's not be catty and selfish. Let's appreciate one anothers freckles and eyes and other little traits that make us so unique and so lovely. We are women. We are so special. We are strong. No matter where we are from we are all bonded together by the wonderful fact that we are women. We are feminine and delicate and powerful and able to stand for everything that we know. Let's stand for one another, and more importantly stand for ourselves.

I love you all, even if I don't know you, even if I will never in a million years meet you... I love you all. Love yourselves.
J

My Boyfriend Has This...Kissing thing...read the body and youll understand.

MyOwnGirl — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 13:24:34 -0800

(By The way, the pic is of my and my BF when i had red hair) Okay, well on halloween night my bf kissed me, but not just any old every day "hi" "bye" kiss, like a real passionate open mouth kiss. I was totally caught off guard and I wouldnt allow him to do it otherwise. I dont mean to seem weeny-ish but I dont want to kiss him like that. I think its kinda weird for my age. I dont wanna tell him not to try because I dont wanna hurt his feelings, but I dont wanna just become his object and have our relationship based on PDA (Public Display Of Affection). I can tell that he tries sometimes, but I dont let him. What should I do to tell him that its not okay with me?

CONFUSED

lauraxtc — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 09:57:35 -0800

I THINK I AM CONFUSED.
A JUST GOT OUT OF A 6 YEAR RELATIONSHIP, JUMP INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP WITHIN A MONTH AND NOW I THINK IT HAS BACK FIRED ON ME.

I FEEL DAZED AND CONFUSED.

MY EX TRIED TO RETURN TO ME BUT I TURNED HIM DOWN. HE REALLY DID HURT ME SO I HAD NO CHOICE TO TURN HIM AWAY. I STILL THOUGHT WE COULD KEEP THINGS KOOL BETWEEN US.
MY NEW BF, FEELS UNCOMFORTABLE BEING THE REBOUND BUT HE KNEW THIS FROM THE START.

I AM WILLING TO GIVE THIS NEW RELATIONSHIP A CHANCE BUT EVER SINCE I HAD A CHANCE TO GET BACK WITH MY EX AND I CONFESSED TO HIM I HAD MOVED ON, HE COMPLETELY SHUT ME OUT OF HIS LIFE.

THAT BROKE MY HEART AND I AM DOING WHAT IT TAKES TO MOVE ON AND NOT LOOK BACK.
WHY DO I FEEL SO DEPRESSED THEN?

holiday traditions

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 16:58:40 -0800

My boyfriend is Jewish and doesn't want to celebrate Christmas. I was raised celebrating Christmas, but I have no problem NOT celebrating it. The thing I want to do is to come up with our own traditions to start that are unique to us but don't have to do with Christmas/Hannukah. I am just looking for some interesting suggestions that we can start in our home and continue throughout the years.

Torn Apart

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 13:25:50 -0800

I'm 24 years old and I love my boyfriend dearly. We have been together for 5 1/2 years now. He is an international student and has to go back to his country. He is the same ethnicity as me. In August I asked my parents if I can get married with my boyfriend. His parents have already approved of us getting married. I really do not want him to leave the U.S. and I want him to stay here with me. Our plans for our future is living in the U.S. I am a U.S. Citizen so if I get married with him I can keep him here. My parents don't seem to understand why I have to get married so soon. They say that I am too young and I don't have a job. I had just graduated in May 2008, and have been looking for a job ever since. But after the terrible economic downturn it has been very difficult looking for a job, so I have been working part time jobs.

Right now my plan is just to get married in court just to get the marriage license and certificate to start the immigration steps to keep him here. When his green card status comes out which is two years later have the actual marriage ceremony at that time.

Every time I ask my parents (or especially my dad) they bring up excuses that he may cheat on me later, he doesn't have money, and a number of other excuses. I really doubt he will cheat on me. The money I think shouldn't be an issue when getting married. We can make the money afterwards. My money and his combined is greater since he is planning on taking his CPA exam if he gets green card status.

I was starting to think of getting married confidentially, but I can't seem to do it. I feel like I am dishonoring my parents since I did not ask for their permissions. I also feel like if I don't get married, I'll lose him forever.

So my choices are:

1. Get married with him confidentially and start the process to keep him here.
2. Leave with him to his country and just be with him while I work there teaching English.
3. Stay here and wait another two to three years to get married.

I just need some advice as to what to do. I really love him. I never thought that marriage and the actual convincing of my parents was going to be so difficult. My parents keep coming up with excuses everytime I talk to them and many are irrational excuses. It really is tearing me apart.

breaking up

glamabie24 — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 16:10:40 -0800

A story shared to me... A very beautiful story...

The author who plays the wife in the story says;

My husband is S/W Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite; his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

"Why?" he asked, shocked.

"I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought. My feeling of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who was not able to even express his predicament, so what else could I expect from him?

And finally he asked me: "What can I do to change your mind?"

Somebody said it right... It's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: "Here is the question. If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind.

Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?"

He said: "I will give you your answer tomorrow.... "

My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes....

My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but....please allow me to explain the reasons further.....

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes. I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand...and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face...

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die ... "

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting. .. and as I continue on reading... "Now, that you have finished reading my answer, and if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk...

I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread....Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's LIFE, and LOVE. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms; even in very small and cheeky forms. It has never been a model. It could be the dullest and most boring form ...

Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... AND THAT'S LIFE

So what are you cribbing and complaining in life.. find the best in your partners, appreciate and acknowledge it ... today... now.

"Think about it.."

For more inspirational stories, subscribe to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/heartgraphs/

Do you hate someone in your life? Then this is for you. So read on for sure at one stretch.

glamabie24 — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 15:56:36 -0800

A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got married & went to
live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li
found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all.

Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by
many of her mother-in-law' s habits. In addition, she criticized Li-
Li constantly.

Days and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never
stopped arguing and fighting.

But what made the situation even worse was that, according to
ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and
obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was
causing Li-Li's poor husband! The great distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and
dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it!
Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold
herbs.

She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some
poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.

Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help
you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I
tell you."

Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to
do." Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes
with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-
acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would
cause people to become suspicious Therefore, I have given you a
number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every
other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these
herbs in her serving.

Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspect you, when she dies,
you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. "Don't
argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen." Li-
Li was so happy.

She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of
murdering her mother-in-law.

Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served
the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what
Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her
temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own
mother.

After six months, the whole household had changed. Li-Li
had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she
almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her
mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and
easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law' s attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to
love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and
relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in- law one could ever
find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like
a real mother and daughter.

Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening. One day,
Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again She
said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from
killing my mother-in-law. She's changed into such a nice woman, and
I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of
the poison I gave her."

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to
worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were
vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and
your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the
love which you gave to her."

HAVE YOU REALIZED that how you treat others is exactly how they will
treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: "The person who loves
others will also be loved in return." God might be trying to work in
another person's life through you. Send this to your friends and
spread the POWER OF LOVE.

For more inspirational stories, check this group at yahoo.com:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/heartgraphs/

Group Therapy: Should I Give It Another Shot?

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 10:00:00 -0800

I dated a man about a year and a half ago who was perfect on paper. We had a wonderful time whenever he was in town — it was a long-distance relationship and he had business where I live. He's 15 years my senior, but I enjoyed his sophistication and maturity. After his business here was over, I planned a trip to see him. Leading up to my visit, things were fine until literally, the day I left to see him. He was stressed with new work projects and my visit was simply terrible. Though there were some memorable dinners and such, it was all in all not what I anticipated. I ended up spending my last day with an old friend and she was the one to take me to the airport.
We haven't spoken or contacted each other since then (18 months ago). However, I had a vivid dream about him the other night and decided to email him to say hi. He emailed back saying he's wanted to get in touch but didn't know how I'd react.

I've been in a relationship with a wonderful man for a year now. He treats me the way I wish the previous guy had, but lacks other qualities I desire. I can't stop thinking of this previous guy and wondering if I should just pick up the phone to see if we could make it work. I know he's still a workaholic and will never love me the way my current boyfriend does, but I still feel torn. Should I give it a try? If not, how do I get him out of my head?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]
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Group Therapy: Will He Ever Love Me?

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 04:00:00 -0800

I am 20 years old and in love. The only problem is I'm alone in that love — or so it feels. My boyfriend and I have been together for just about a year and he has yet to tell me he loves me. My question is, does it really matter that much if he says it? We're together almost every day, and are both absolutely crazy about each other; from the outside looking in, it seems we're both crazy in love, but he hasn't said it aloud yet.

I did bring it up one time. I'd been feeling it so strongly that I let my guard down and I told him first — it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. He hugged me and kissed me and seemed glad that I had told him, but it generated no mutual response. He said he was flattered, but just wasn't ready to say it yet. He reassured me that he will, and when he does, I'll know he means it. But I'm worried — I'm not sure what it is that makes me need to hear it from him so badly, but I just want to know we're on the same page. I feel vulnerable and confused. He means the world to me, we have (otherwise) an incredible relationship, so is it wrong that he hasn't said it yet?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Wondering...

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:17:36 -0800

Recently, I met the most amazing guy. He's nice and wonderful and warm. We had been flirting for a couple weeks and then he finally asked me out! Well, we went out and had a wonderful time. A few days later, he kissed me and it was amazing. Well, to make a long story short, two days later he left the country to go to England for work for a month.

We chat occasionally online but I'm worried that when he gets back, he won't want to see me anymore.

Am I just being paranoid?

Group Therapy: Torn Between the Future and Now

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 04:00:00 -0800

I'm 21 and have been dating my boyfriend for four years. Our families know each other and know that we're serious about our relationship. His family is traditional and conservative so they hope that we take things slow until we're married. Although it's against our faith, we do have premarital relations, and I found it to be justifying that we do plan to get married — we're not just sleeping around. From my parents' divorce, I know not to marry young and that things don't always go as planned. My friends and family know that I am very serious about my education and know that nothing will stop me from finishing with my Masters degree, even marriage. I dream about my future with my boyfriend and see it to be attainable, and that notion keeps me motivated in school and smarter with my time and finances.

Very recently, however, my boyfriend told me that I'm too much of a dreamer and I need a hit of reality, especially when it comes to our future. But I think I'm grounded with dreams that keep me motivated. Now I'm torn between my beliefs, our conservative families, his bubble bursting comments, and my dream-driven goals. Can I still be grounded with dreams of a wedding, husband, and family? Is it wrong to keep these dreams? And if I do keep them, do I keep them to myself to prevent them from being shot down?

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Source

Love you all !!

smryna — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 02:57:57 -0800

I just saw that quote one of the web site and i liked it ! So i wanted to share it with you guys (:

i look at the sun.i see u..i look at the moon..i see u..i look at the sea..i see u..excuse me, can u move alittle? Books says "Read me", Money says" Earn me" Time says.."Plan me" Flowers says "Love me". My sms says "Remember me" . The piano says: do.. re.. me...forget Do, forget Re, But dont forget (((ME)))....