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How Do I Fall Back In Love With My Boyfriend?

Fri, 16 May 2008 03:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years now. We met in high school and are both 20. He's an amazing guy; he would do anything in the world for me and accepts me for exactly who I am. We've been through some very difficult times together. He was there when my mom passed away, and I helped him deal with his parents shunning him when he decided to move in with me. On paper, I love him more than I can say.

The problem is that I'm realizing that I'm not longer truly in love with him. We've been going through some issues lately — I was on the patch and it completely killed my libido. Our sex life has been virtually non-existent for the last six months, and even now that I'm on another birth control, I have trouble physically and emotionally being intimate. It's been very difficult on our relationship, to the point where I feel sometimes like we're more roommates than a couple. Basically, I miss us.

I feel like I need to fall in love with him again, but I don't know how. We live together, and I feel like that makes things difficult as far as finding romance again. I desperately want to save this relationship. I just can't figure out how to get my head back to the way it used to be. Does anyone have any advice to get the spark ignited again?

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Group Therapy: How Do I Support My Grieving Friend?

Thu, 15 May 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Just recently a good friend of mine confided in me that her mom's cancer, which they have known about for a while, had gotten worse and the doctors couldn't do any more to help her. They didn't know how long she had, but it wasn't very long. A little while ago I got a text from a mutual friend letting me know our friend's mom had passed away. I am completely devastated; I didn't realize it would be this sudden. I had assumed she had months left or even years.

Now I just don't know what to do. Our mutual friend advised me not to call her right now, and I think that's probably best, but I want to reach out to her. How can I support my friend right now? I'm just lost completely lost. I don't want to overstep my boundaries, but I want to connect with her, and show her that I'm here. How long should I wait before I contact her?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Group Therapy: He Couldn't Perform

Thu, 15 May 2008 03:00:00 -0700

I'm a 20 year old college student, and a while ago I met a guy at a party. There was a great vibe between us, and since then we've been seeing each other regularly. We've been really into each other physically, but I've wanted to take things slow because I've only been single for four months after two and a half years of being taken.

Last night, I invited him over to my flat, and it was really fun. We had already discussed sex, and it seemed like things were headed that direction. We were clumsy at first, but it seemed normal to me because it was the first time we'd gotten this intimate. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to get an erection, and we had to stop. I felt quite rejected, and he couldn't figure out what was wrong with him since it had never happened before. We were mostly silent after that and things were pretty awkward.

We fell asleep and in the morning tried to discuss what went wrong. It was the first time he had sex with a girl he's really interested in, and I concluded that he was just nervous. I tried to make things right, by initiating sex again, but he refused and said he didn't feel like it. I felt horrible because I was standing there naked being turned down. I asked him to leave, and without saying something he got up and left. I just don't know what to do now. I really like him. Will things ever work out between us again? Is there something wrong with me?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Woman-on-top Position

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 19:08:33 -0700

As much as I try to master this position, I can not. My technique is to just bounce up and down, which is a total bore :s + riding it doesn't work for me because it just continues slipping out, worse, I feel completely stupid. All in all I can not take the reins in sex, he is always the one effing me. So you can just imagine how I feel.

Despite the fact that I have endless practice time with myself and my devoting mirror... it doesn't help when the actual thing comes around. Morning. Noon. Night. Frustrated at this point

I'm beginning to think that my destiny is to suck at this position because I'm not exactly a shy person, I really don't know what to do

I'm not exactly the most flexible person in the world either so all I"m asking is for a few tricks, techniques, whatever you do that makes mastering this position easier.

Thanx

Group Therapy: My Best Friend Wants More

Wed, 14 May 2008 03:00:00 -0700

I have been best friends with "John" since we were both 15 years old. We are 26 now, and he is beginning to express an interest in something more than just friendship. I feel completely unsure about this.

I just started seeing a guy about a month ago, and now John is pointing out all of this new guy's faults and our lack of similar interests. Of course he's also quick to note that he and I have tons in common. I have never thought of John as anything other than a friend, but at the same time, I have never gotten along or connected with anyone like I do John. I'm terrified of losing our friendship. Should I give him a chance and encourage this or do I just refuse?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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I'm a hot, blonde, 21 year old student. He's wealthy 33 year old executive.

Thu, 15 May 2008 17:30:36 -0700

Does anyone have any advice regarding significant age differences in relationships? I met this guy while out with my friends and have been seeing him for only 2 months. At first I was skeptical because of the age difference, but he has been quite reliable, he's a lot of funny, and is really quite good looking. I only see him once or twice a week because he lives in downtown Chicago and has a prestigious job, and I live in the Chicago burbs and work as a waitress to put myself through college. Obviously we're still getting to know each other, but I'm really into him and want to know if anyone has any advice. I don't want to get hurt or f-ed over... do you think he's messing with me, or could this be legitimate?

My First Name Sounds Really Stupid with His Last Name.

Thu, 15 May 2008 14:07:38 -0700

I've been with my boyfriend for a while now and recently we've been contemplating marriage but I realized... my name sounds really stupid with his last name. They kind of rhyme and sound like two different objects, something like... Collin Small. Thats not my name (or future name) but its close. It's got too many Ls in it, it makes you move your mouth in a weird way, it sounds like "Call in Small" which is weird and my friends totally agree.

I considered hyphenating but my boyfriend thinks thats lame and I have a really long last name so instead of being Collin Small it would be something like Collin O'Donnell-Small... which is also stupid. Also, my middle name has an L in it so if I put that in its like Collin Lynn Small.... too many freakin Ls.

Any body else have this problem? What did you do? Did people get used to it?? I keep thinking about that movie, the Wedding Singer... Julie Gulia. Yikes.

Please reassure me and put me out of my misery!

THE Prom Dress <3

Mon, 05 May 2008 21:13:16 -0700

So, I finally bought my prom dress the other day, its this gorgeous hot pink tiered Betsey Johnson dress that I'm absolutely in love with. It's fine and dandy that I have it, now the problem is how am I going to execute it. What shoes, what accessories, what clutch? HELP!

Down in the dumps

Thu, 15 May 2008 17:16:04 -0700

I'm really starting to feel bad about the way my life is turning out. I have a great family and friends, but it is rough from there. I have a job that I don't necessarily hate, but I definately don't look forward going. I work very hard for little pay. I'm college educated with 2 degrees. I've seriously thought about quitting and even set deadlines for myself to be out of there, but I have watched 2 pass me by. I dont' know what else I would do, career wise. Nothing really grabs me! And then there is my personal life. I thought I was in a great relationship finally. I've been dating a guy who was my ideal for the last year. Over the past year though, slowly things have changed. He isn't exactly who I thought he is and everything he has told me about our future together is starting to look like empty promises. He knows the right things to say, but isn't backing them up. He's been talking marriage and kids for a while now, but do I have a ring?? We aren't talking right now and might even be finished, and really over nothing. I'm 26 years old and am watching all my friends buy houses, get married, and have children. I have none of this. It makes it hard to hang out with them sometimes because they are always talking about house stuff or married couple things. I am in a rut and not sure what to do. Any advice??

Why tell me you love me now...

Fri, 02 May 2008 16:12:37 -0700

I've been with my bf, "Glenn" for 2 yrs. Two yrs before us, my close male friend, "Adam" and I would spend 800+ minutes per month talking on the phone. We talked several times a day. We have never had sex. At one point, I told him I was confused about my feelings for him. We explored my feelings and decided the friendship was more important. We continued to talk all the time. I became involved with my bf approx. 6 mos later. Adam and I didn't talk as much, after that.

He now admits that he had and still has more than friend feelings for me, but was scared to reveal them. He said, when I got involved with Glenn, he really hid his feelings then. He said he's telling me now, because he has always loved me, his best friend, and finally figured it out. He also said, I was the one that got away. I know Adam better then Glenn. We know everything about each other, morals, values, past baggage, vulnerabilities, sexual likes and dislikes, and etc. At different times, we had significant others. He said he didn't think Glenn and I would get serious. We have a great friendship and still lean on each other for emotional support. Glenn knows we talk, he knows our entire relationship history and when I ask Adam's advice on some male issues, I tell Glenn what we talk about. He says he's okay with it and our friendship doesn't bother him in the least.

Currently, Glenn and I are having major problems. Now, I realize Glenn and I should have gotten couples counseling before moving in together. He has a lot of intimacy issues, that I took a blind eye too. I was in love and in the honeymoon stage. Well that honeymoon is over! We've moved on into the emotional bonding phase, but he's not putting much effort into bonding. We've been going to counseling and I don't see much effort on his part. He's what I call intimacy challenged. He lives in denial and has some selfish ways about him. He has made some progress, but being vulnerable is a major issue with him. He withdraws instead of sharing his emotions. It frustrates the heck out of me. This has been going on since last year.

I don't want to quit on Glenn, but resentment is starting to creep in. I have told Glenn how I feel about our relationship. He makes an initial effort to change, then it's back to status quo. I feel I'm doing all the work here. Adam does not know we are having these problems. As a promise to Glenn, I don't discuss our intimacy issues with Adam.

I'm so confused. The entire time I've been with Glenn, Adam has never said anything negative about him. He has always been positive about my bf and I.

Hopefully you can give me some other things to think about. I have talked about this in my private therapy sessions, but I'm still so F&*king confused.

Help!!

My Boyfriend Likes To Make Me Angry--Why??

Sun, 11 May 2008 20:42:35 -0700

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now&he constantly says things and does things to make me mad. He especially likes to call me names that he knows will make me mad. Why does he do this??

Pictures of his ex on his computer

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 09:03:34 -0700

I have a dilemma. My bf of over 7 months still have pictures of his ex in his computer. His ex that was before me... his ex who he was in love with. I don't feel very comfortable of this. The folder where his ex's pictures are at is on his desktop so I brought it up about a month ago since I use his computer sometimes too. When I asked him about it, he said he's going to delete the folder... he moved it instead of just putting the folder in the trash. So it was gone from his desktop... a couple days later, its back again. Asked him about it again and he said he pressed undo and didn't noticed that the folder is back. How can he not notice? The folder stuck out of the rest coz somehow, the texts under the folder was highlighted. I stopped asking him about it. Then one time, I brought it up again. He said he will delete it (again) but I was like, u know what, its fine... its your computer, its none of my business, you dont have to delete her pictures, u're obviously still holding on to something. They broke up june or july last year - so its still kinda fresh. When I acted that way, he asked me how come I'm so cool with it. He said he would flip out if I still have pictures of my exs. He actually made me delete my ex's pictures on my computer and a couple phone numbers on my phone. Btw, he still have this girl's phone number on his phone. His reason being: So I'd know if she's calling so I won't answer it. Bullsh*t, really. He knows her # by heart.

So, today... turned on his computer. I was glad to find out the folder is gone. I opened this one folder because I'm looking for a song that I downloaded a couple days ago and guess what. The folder with his ex's pictures is there. He just moved it again. I never opened the folder with his ex's pictures before so I opened it today and in it, the pictures were titled: (let's call her mary)sexy mary, mary's ass, sexy mary 2, me and mary, me and mary 2, mary in bed, mary front view, mary's ass 2, me and mary in bed. I never opened the pictures because I don't want to see anything. I'm not usually a jealous person but this one is driving me nuts.

If y'all could help me with this, I want to say something to him without offending him. See, I'm such a wimp. Like right now, I'm angry at him and wants to confront him with this but if I see him later, my anger would just disappear. Guess I'm in love, huh.