Just some funny quotes from how i met your mother

Lily: Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her I will take those peanuts you're trying to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard until your eyes pop out and then I'll feed them to you like grapes.
Barney: Wait... my eyes? Or my testicles?
Lily: (thinks about it) One of each!

Ted: So, who are we picking up?
Barney: I dunno...her? Or maybe her...
Ted: Wait, so when you said we were going to pick someone up at the airport, you meant we were going to *pick someone up* at the airport?
Barney: Yeah...
Ted: You're kidding!
Barney: False! how i met your mother