I am a dork and bored and yes I watched the whole darn thing last night. It has been years since I have watched an AMA. Probably since the early 90's.

1. Haguilera opened the show. She sounded good. Looked ok. Did a medley of all her songs. Changed her look between each song medley. Of course that irritated me. But it doesn't take much for the Hag to irritate me. For once there was someone else irritating me more last night and I will get to that in a bit.

2. NKOTB performed a medley. Eh they were ah-ight. Not totally embarrassing I guess. But I am sure half the audience were texting throughout much of the performance. Oh and Donnie has dyed his hair.

3. Taylor Swift. Poor poor pitiful Taylor. She had to be there and the Jonas Bros were there as well. She performed this song about a boy breaking her heart. I am pretty sure, um, she had this song written before Emo broke her heart but sang it the whole time on the verge of tears like she was singing to him. Her teeth bug me.

4. Miley Cyrus performed. I begrudgingly admit she did a bang up job. Rockeresque. It was her 16th birthday and after her performance she blew out some candles on a cake backstage with some random celebs flocked at her side (Julianne Hough, that virgin AI winner girl, Taylor Swift and that Disney nose job girl).

5. Jimmy Kimmel hosted. He did a few jokes making fun of celebs but on the whole I found his comedy pretty tame for the night.

6. Beyonce performed her new single about "Putting a ring on it". She is a really good entertainer. I'll give her that. And girl has moxie to be able to wear that leotard and shake her moneymaker.

7. Coldplay. Ho Hum. They sounded awful. That breaks my heart. And I just don't understand the confetti dropping? Why would the producers let that happen in the middle of the show? At the end I can understand. That shizz just kept pouring down and sticking in girls' cleavages and covered the stage. If I wasn't so worried for people tripping I would have been laughing myself silly.

8. Scott Weiland of STP gave an award away. No words. I couldn't tell if he was still high out of his mind on drugs or if he was finally sober and his body was revolting. Someone needs to put him out of his misery. Seriously.

9. Jonas Brothers. Same old same old. Hot and performed well. But it is what it is.

10. Leona Lewis performed. What is wrong with her? Honestly she has a gorgeous voice but ZERO personality. It is almost hard to watch.

11. Mariah Carey performed. Her hubby helped her down the steps. That was kind of cute. Her body is rockin. The song on the other hand. Oh yeah she was also acknowledged for the being the artist who has spent the most weeks at #1.

12. Natasha Bedingfield performed. I really really really don't want to like her but she is really growing on me.

13. Pink performed.

14. Pussycat Dolls performed.

15. Now onto my rant. The theme - R&B/Hip Hop and Humility. Some have it / most do not. Case in point Kanye. Of course he was the prime example. But there is another big headed narcissist in our realm. And her name? RIHANNA. My god could she love herself MORE?!!! She exudes b*tchiness and snottiness everytime the camera shows her. She won a couple awards and oh my goodness. She is a gorgeous girl (no doubt) but producers have made her what she is with popular songs. She can perform them well but her voice isn't that great. She pisses me off. I don't like her and she is giving Haguilera a run for her money for me.

Meanwhile you have Alicia Keys who has more talent in her belly button than Rihanna has all over and she was as humble as can be last night. And gorgeous as can be I might add.

16. NeYo performed. He is really really good.

17. And finally Annie Lennox is god. End of story.