You can:

A) Go to couples counseling, if you can get him to go.
B) Separate
C) Start therapy for yourself, to figure out why you would want to stay with a man who is not willing to compromise or work on the relationship.
D) Ask yourself, if you want to continue to do all the work.

From what you've written, he's very selfish and disrespectful. I wonder what he's up to when he goes out alone.hmmmmm Are you willing to accept his behavior? If it were me, I'd leave. You deserve better.

All relationships have their ups and downs, that's normal. Both people are responsible for the good and bad, unless one of them is crazy...lol Building a good relationship is hard work. Compromise,acceptance and changes are always necessary. It never works if only ONE party is doing all the work. Do you think after a year and a half it will change?

If he doesn't want to sleep with you, maybe it's really just the insomnia. Even if you turn in your sleep once, it could wake him up and maybe he won't be able to fall asleep again all night.

If he doesn't bring you when he goes out, maybe he's just shy about you and his friends meeting. Some people are socially awkward like that.

But it's both of these, and together they become unacceptable in my opinion.

I think you should tell him that you need a serious talk with him- not while he's getting dressed for work. Tell him that everyone wants to feel wanted, and you're not feeling it right now. He has to be willing to do SOMETHING to make this work.

Protect your heart until you find someone who can do it better than you.

Actions speak louder than words. This guy is over you.

I know you live together and may have a lease and shared items and blah blah blah, but either you take control of the situation now, or get ready to come home to an empty apartment one day soon.

Tell him your relationship is NOT okay and he has 2 choices, committ fully to you and your life together by attending weekly counseling, or move out. Give him 24 hours to decide, then follow through. Do not accept any excuses from him.

I wonder if I should even tell you this, because it may not even be the case, but having said that, my ex did this and I also could not understand why he'd rather sleep on the couch in front of the tv instead of with me, I mean I made it clear that I was willing and waiting if you know what I mean most of the time, and he would still "accidentally" fall asleep out there or tell me he needed the TV to fall asleep...here I eventually found out in time(by snooping) that he wanted to be out there so bad because he was watching porn on the tv overnight. And no, we didn't have any of those channels ordered- didn't matter to him, he was watching what he could see glimpses of between the scrambling. He did this almost every night, weeknights and weekends. I eventually confronted him about his obvious preference for porn over his real-life spouse, and he admitted that he was 'addicted to porn' and never told me...I also found out with time that he had no intentions of overcoming his problem. So,I left. There were other problems too, but this was probably the most hurtful. Anyways. I have no idea why he doesn't want to sleep with you, but like the other ladies have said, it doesn't sound good. Maybe scale things down to "just friends"(not friends with benefits,lol) and see how things go. Maybe he will start trying to earn you back, and maybe he will really just not care that much. This will help you see where his heart is truly at.

I'm sorry this is happening but the good news is, you're not married. I guess the other good news is you have choices. You can offer to go to counseling with him. If he says no, that's a deal breaker and he must leave. Or you can just find your self worth and tell him to hit the bricks. Or you can continue to live an unhappy life with a man who obviously doesn't care enough about you. I'm sorry if this seems rough but I'm a tell it like it is kind of a gal. There are plenty of men out there who will treat you with respect, all you have to do is act like you deserve it. He is showing you every day (and night) just how he feels about you. Maybe you should show him how you feel about yourself?

Forget whether your boyfriend wants to be with you.

Do you want to be with him? Do you want to be with someone who makes you feel like this your whole life.

The answer should be a loud and resounding NO!

You deserve better. Move on!

popgoestheworld is 100% right. After a year and a half, for him to be like this? Honey, leave him - it doesn't matter how much you love him, you're both unhappy. I just got out of a miserable living situation like this with a boyfriend, and I'm so much better off!!

Who makes more money? (I don't really want to know the answer, but ask yourself that..) Does he HAVE to live with you or something? It sounds like he only wants a roommate....

It sounds like he's depressed. He probably needs to get over it himself. There might not be anything that you could do for him. And I dont think he's over you, or else he would not say the things he says. Guys are pretty cut and dry.

I think it probably has nothing to do with you. I know its hard to not take it personally, but it just sounds like he's miserable. If I were you, I would move out and give him his beloved "space". Then he will realize (hopefully) how much happiness YOU bring to his life. I know its easier said than done tho.

I imagine there might be financial reasons why you dont want to move out, or maybe you hate moving and packing etc. I know I do! I really have a feeling that if you distanced yourself things could improve after awhile. It usually takes about 3 months.

Also, you dont want his depression affecting your mental health, because then if you're both depressed than how can one help the other? Absence makes the heart grow fonder

I read a lot of the other Sugars' comments, and it kind of upsets me, because in a lot of ways, I'm just like your boyfriend. My boyfriend and I are rarely intimate (I'm always stressed, and that just turns me off COMPLETELY), I like sleeping on my own (I have insomnia myself and hate laying there, listening to someone snore or breathe deeply, because I can't fall asleep and it's like a slap in the face), and I like going out with my friends -- most of which are in a relationship themselves -- to be with my JUST my friends. I love my boyfriend, but sometimes I just need a little while to be on my own. And he understands and is completely okay with that.

Think about it. You two live together. Besides school/work/whatever else you do, you're in each other's space 24/7. In my opinion, it doesn't sound like he's over you or not into you or whatever; he just needs a break, and I don't think he was lying about needing alone time. Everyone needs alone time; some just need it more than others.

So what can you do about it? You can either deal with it or leave, because he's not going to change whether you want him to or not.

I really agree with omilawd. I think he just needs a break and personal space.

My husband and I have a rule that when we get home, we don't have to talk until dinner. I do my own thing (go for a run, take a nap, or whatever) and he does his own thing (watch tv, play video games, or whatever he wants). We regroup at dinner and spend the rest of the evening together. It's great because we both get to decompress and work out the stress of the day on our own.

I think you need to give your boyfriend a break and let him spend time alone.

omilawd and marcella are giving you fantastic advice, you should listen to them.

I can't believe so many sugars would judge their significant others feeling's for them by the fact that they don't sleep in the same bed as you. Honestly? It's not that serious. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly three years and we've slept in the same bed probably 3 times over the course of our entire relationship. It's not because he doesn't love me or isn't in to me anymore, it's because he moves in his sleep constantly and doesn't want to roll over on top of me or wake me up with his tossing and turning all night long. People think it's weird that we have separate bedrooms but I've grown quite comfortable with it and it's really actually pretty nice to have my own space to go to when he's getting on my nerves or whatever the case may be.

As far as him not inviting you when he goes out ever, I've dealt with this in my current relationship as well. Think back on your time together, have you ever made it known to him that you didn't particularly enjoy going the places he goes when he's out (clubs, bars, movies, whatever he does for fun...)? Because if you said something about not liking to go to a place that he enjoys even once, in passing, it's entirely possible that he just doesn't invite you because he thinks its not your "scene" and he doesn't want you to have a bad time. For a while I was feeling very left out and hurt because my boyfriend never invited me out with him until one day we had a huge blow-up about it and he told me "You said you hate clubs, so why would I invite you to go somewhere you hate?" and he was right.

Don't worry about the negative people who imply that your man is out doing you wrong when he's out and you're not along for the ride. That's such a ridiculous thing to think. If you know him and you know your relationship you know if he's likely to misbehave when out and if that's the case then maybe you should end things. But since you didn't really go into whether or not you're upset about him not inviting you out because you're worried he might stray or whatever I'm not really trying to read that much into it.

I think you really just need to let the whole bed thing go. It's truly not a big deal. Talk to him about WHY he doesn't invite you along when he goes out. And as far as the intimacy thing goes, sex isn't everything and despite popular belief, guys do not think about it all the time. It's really entirely possible that he just doesn't think about sex that much and that he has a lower sex drive than you. Trust me, because I've been in that situation also with my current relationship.

Only you know if your relationship is strong and healthy. How often you're intimate, where each of you chooses to sleep at night and whether or not you go out on the town together frequently are not good ways to measure the love and feelings you have for each other. Everyone is different. Look into yourself instead of relying on people who aren't close to the situation to give you advice.

omilawd is right too, I do need me some me-time.

besamemucho - Who said we (or me at least) are being judgmental? She wrote in asking for advice. This isn't about you and your relationship. (I could care less if you sleep with your man or not.)

He obviously needs more space and she needs more attention and affection from a man. "I am feeling completely unwanted in my relationship." Who feels that way in a relationship? Your situation doesn't seem to fit what her needs are here.

It sounds like the two of you are not meant for each other.

I agree with a lot of the more positive comments. But can you not get two twin beds and still sleep in the same room at least? I don't know how much I would like being in two different rooms. But that is just my personal preference.

If you cannot accept his ways, and he cannot accept his, it may be a gloomy relationship.

g1amourpuss - Yeah totally wasn't even talking about you...unless by saying it sounds like he wants a roommate you were implying that he goes out and cheats on her. Because that's exactly what I said "Don't worry about the negative people who imply that your man is out doing you wrong when he's out and you're not along for the ride" Reading in context, try it, it's fabulous.

I stick by my advice. She feels unwanted because she's judging the strength of her relationship on all these factors that don't really matter that much in the big picture. I don't care if YOU don't care about my relationship and true, this isn't about my relationship but the fact of the matter is my relationship was/is the EXACT, SAME SITUATION and hopefully, by telling her about my experience with this situation she can see the parallels and work this out without having to leave her guy. Isn't that what asking for advice is all about? Pardon me for not being completely negative and insisting that the only way she can get over these feelings is by leaving her boyfriend. I just don't see it that way and it's really sad that so many people do.

I don't think it's exactly the same, but I'm not living in either relationship. You seem more content than the OP. We don't have to completely agree.

..I do hope her b/f isn't cheating and that it all works out in her favor at least.

Oh believe me, it took forever for me to feel content...my boyfriend's kind of a weirdo. LOL!

You're right, we don't have to completely agree as long as we both agree that Christina Aguilera's shovel thumbs & blue veined teats are gross you're all right by me

LOL *wink* (xtina had me all self conscious about my tatas earlier today. I need a tan or something [she can afford a good fake tan though for her rack!].. but eh - I'm working on my pale for winter anyway.)

If you're not having sex and he doesn't want to work things out with you when you speak to him about the relationship then I don't think you are anything more than roomies, really.

You deserve to be with somebody who is going to love and appreciate you and unless this guy goes to either therapy or bucks up his ideas I don't think he is going to be able to provide that for you.

When is the lease up? Can you get out early? Who is on the tenancy? Is it joint? I'd start taking provisions to prepare yourself for a break up because if you don't sort it out then he probably will. I dated a guy who started behaving like this and sure enough 4 months later we were broken up.

great comments esp
1. do you want to be with him who cares if he wants you
2. he's an a#$
3. he is OVER you. guys push girls away hoping they will end it. this seems to be one of those cases.

i'm sooo in the same place as you. i've been with my fiance for over 2 years and sometimes i feel like he's just not 'into' me. we've got very different habits, and when he comes to bed, if he comes to bed, we just sleep and that's it. the most intimate that we get lately is if he snuggles with me for a few minutes after my alarm has gone off in the AM and i have to go to work.

it's one of those things that you have to really think hard about. do you think that you're really happy together or do you think that you could be happier with someone else? you should never have to settle just because you've been with someone for a long time - so if you think that there's someone else that might give you more of what you need - then that's something to consider. for myself - i've weighed it out a lot and i think that regardless of how stressed i am about it and how i don't get what i need all the time, well...he's still the best person for me and i think that in the long run, i'll be very happy with him.

This isnt a boyfriend, this is a roommate. Move him out and find someone who appreciates you and treats you how you want to be treated.

Good luck

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"