Relax - this is totally normal. Every girl gets like this at some point. For me, it was age 27, also the beginning of grad school. It did make it really hard to focus.

You don't want to make the mistake of sleeping with the first guy who seems nice. You're only considering that as an option because you're so horny! Instead, spend some solo time (if you catch my drift) and see if that doesn't help. If you have reservations about self-pleasure because of your religion, then you're certainly not ready for sex.

Once you're more comfortable with the idea, tell yourself that once you're in a stable relationship, you'll consider having sex. Until then, don't rush into anything. You'll regret it once the urge is satisfied, and you'll feel bad about yourself.

You have a lot of hang ups around sex that are causing you a lot of guilt. It is normal to feel sexual as a woman, you don't need to feel ashamed about it. It is a personal choice if you feel ready for sex, it does NOT make you loose or anything else negative. It is human nature to want sex! I feel sad for you that you have so many hangups about such a natural behaviour! This is one reason I get so frustrated with organized religions. Maybe you are just physically ready for sex, there is nothing wrong with that. But know that your first time should be with someone you care about, or it probably will not be a very rewarding experience for you. My advice is: masturbate, masturbate, masturbate girl! It's a good stress reliever, it cures menstrual cramps and headaches, it helps you deal with stress and sexual frustration. Plus, when you do get a partner, he will not be able to please you at all if you can't please yourself first. Self-love is important!

I am with the above posters! You are 100% normal woman. We all think about sex and want to have sex, well for the most part. You have no reason to feel guilty and women that have sex are not loose. I can't think of the last time I heard that expression. I think before you jump in with both feet you need to learn more about your body and play, play, play with yourself. You will become more comfortable with your sexual self and know what makes you feel great. I would even suggest you check out the good vibrations website they could definitely help you out in the masturbation department.

masturbation, buy a D*ldo, read erotica.....it will help.

I was 17 the first time I had sex and depending on which of my friends you ask that's either "too early" or "too late". My point is, everyone has different standards and you should decide what's right for you.
The only thing I would suggest about having sex with this guy is a) being certain he's a good guy and won't act like a jerk and b) that you like him and you want to do this!
The more you get to know someone the more comfortable you'll feel about being so close to them and it's okay to be nervous, everyone is/was....

I agree w/ the above posters myself. And OP, the 'urge' hit me when I was 19.

And it's all good, imho. And it's okay to refrain from having sex if you're not yet ready (despite your urges), you need to get a device for your enjoyment, buy erotica, then learn to enjoy yourself without having a man around

You're OK. You'll be fine.

well it do happens coz we are all human beings,it happen to me all the time to have sex and the funniest thing is that i don't have a girlfriend,take ur time to think about it,the choice is now urs if u like it or not,but my advice is think think deeply.

I hear ya, girl. I'm a 23-year-old virgin myself. I made a decision when I was little not to have sex until I was married. At that time, I don't think I even knew what sex was. It was a decision based purely on religious reasons. As I matured and experienced more, I started to question whether the decision I made as a little girl was still the right decision for me today. Recently, with my last boyfriend, I started having the same questions and yearnings you have. I felt that I was emotionally and physically ready to incorporate sex into an adult relationship. I was 98% sure that I was ready to give him my virginity. Then, he broke up with me. I am unspeakably grateful for that 2% doubt that kept me from giving myself to him in that way. At the time, I thought he was worth it. I thought he would charish and value it. Now that it's over, I see that it would have torn me apart inside.

Sooo... my point to all this is, if you are at all uncertain, wait. It's frustrating now, believe me, I know. I can count on both hands the number of guys who have broken up with me because they wanted sex and that was something I was not willing to give. Once this wave of frustration passes, you'll look back on it and be grateful that you saved it for someone who truly has earned it. I don't know if I will wait until I'm married, but I do know that I will wait until I find someone who is willing to wait for me. My decision isn't for everyone, but I hope knowing that there is someone else out there going through the same thing makes you feel a little less alone.

Wow, Janine22, I couldn't agree with you more! Sex is a natural human behavior, having sexual urges is perfectly normal, and the sooner people can understand this and make peace with it, the better. I've never really seen the big deal about "saving yourself" or thought of my virginity being this really precious thing that I had to *give* to somebody. Who came up with that idea, anyway? Newsflash: GIRLS CAN ENJOY SEX JUST AS MUCH AS GUYS DO!

I also blame organized religion for making girls and guys feel ashamed of their sexuality, and for causing people to have these crazy hangups over something that should be fun and enjoyable. Girls, if you think sex will be so much better if you wait until after marriage, think about it this way - being good in bed is something that you have to learn, and to learn anything you've gotta practice. Maybe that rule worked out really well in the Dark Ages, when girls were just supposed to lay there and accept it, but thankfully things have changed.

I also have to point out the fact that sexual incompatibility is a huge cause of marital strife. Screw the "who's going to buy the cow if they're getting the milk for free" analogy, how about the "who would be dumb enough to buy a car without test driving it" one? The quality of sex can make or break your relationship. I could never EVER marry a guy who doesn't toot my horn. And trust me, the cow analogy is complete bunk - I've slept with two of my boyfriends right off the bat, and both ended up being committed, long-term relationships with discussions of marriage. And any guy who would judge you under a double-standard isn't worth your time anyway.

I've been sexually active since I was 16, but the only time I've ever gone crazy with lust was when I met my current boyfriend when I was 24. It was just like the letter writer described! I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, all I could think of was ripping off his clothes. I felt like I was drugged and couldn't concentrate on anything else. I blame it on pheremones. Man, those little chemical signals are a doozy.

Maybe this won't work for you, but I personally can't think of a better way to just do it than with a friend who you know well enough to trust and feel comfortable with, but not someone who's such a close friend that you would be devastated if things were different afterward.

I just wanted to clarify that I know sex isn't everything in a relationship, but oooooh boy... when the sex is BAD, it can leech into and wreck every other part of your relationship.

This topic tends to piss me off and not for the same reasons as the above poster, but because of those reasons. I am a Christian and a virgin and not having sex until marriage (which my boyfriend is fully supportive of- and he doesn't share my religious beliefs- he just thinks I'm worth it). I was never in my life taught that sex was this bad, taboo thing. The only thing I was taught was to respect myself and respect sex. If you believe that sex is fine whenever, then go for it. But that doesn't mean what I think (or this poster thought) is wrong. If she has religious or moral reasons for abstaining, you should respect that. I respect the people who want to have sex at 16, so why can't I be respected for making the choice to not be having sex at 24?

To the poster: don't have sex just because you are thinking about it all the time. Your body is 22 and raring to go. That doesn't mean your heart and mind are in the same place. If you've held yourself back before, at least wait until you are in a meaningful relationship with someone you love. Don't just give it up to some new guy friend who happens to be hot. That just seems silly. If you waited this long, I think you'll be okay waiting a little longer. I do encourage you to explore yourself and know yourself more. That way, when you really are ready- all of you is ready- then you'll be a little more prepared. And if that takes a while to meet someone... at least you won't be quite so horny ; )

there is a lot of good advise here. make sure you know your body. masterbate. good luck! you will make the right choice.

I was all ready to type "go get laid!" as my comment but everyone else was so much more adult about it etc. But seriously, go get some.

girl, you better get you a good vibrator with a large bottle of KY jelly, and handle ya business.

or else you might go buck wild and screw these guys and they turn out to be "blah", and you would've given up something that IS important.

trust me, after you do it, it ain't gonna be the way you see it.

it's like that old notion; don't go grocery shopping when you're hungry. you end up buying a bunch of crap you don't need.

but for real; masterbate.

plus, you can see exactly what you do and don't like about sex.

there is nothing wrong with sex. but really, sex ain't all what it's cracked up to be. sure, you bust some n*ts, but really, unless it's with someone you care about, and more importantly, someone who cares about you, it's just you getting a wet butt for the sake of a few moments of "oh" and "ah".

there is nothing wrong with saving yourself for religious purposes either.

all religion aside, i think women should be selective about who they let jump up and down on them anyways. your conch is like a billion dollars, and only those of proper caliber (whatever you consider to be a good mate) can have access to your conch.

Well said, graylen. Just because you don't see why a person should "save themselves" doesn't mean there's something wrong with the idea. I really don't care if you want to sleep around or keep it in your pants til retirement, I don't care what anyone does in private, so what on earth gives you the right to judge someone else's personal decision as right or wrong? There are some people for whom sex is a personal, spiritual, and emotional experience, and they don't take it lightly. I'm one of those people (not even religious) and as I'm sure anyone else who's had the "natural human behavior" speech can tell you, it's more than a little condescending.

Every woman will have strong urges for sex at certain points of their lives but it doesn't mean you should just go for first guy who is nice to you especially when you have values/beliefs as you do. First of all, if you do decide to have sex before you're married, make sure the guy is worth it. You may likely give something up you regret due to your religious beliefs i.e. the guy takes sex lightly and might walk out, hurting you in the process. I also believed I was going to wait for marriage but not for any religious reasons but because I do indeed view sex as sacred physical, emotional, and spiritual bond between two people. Go figure, I'm agnostic. Well, I didn't end up waiting but I did end up losing my virginity to the one right person at age 25 before I married him. However, if you do plan to wait, like many others have said before me, masturbation will help relieve the sexual tension you feel. You just have to be open to doing it.

Don't be pressured into anything you don't feel emotionally ready for. To me, it sounds like you are just more physically ready than anything. Older teens tend to be physically developed for sex but I doubt most of them, except the very few mature, are mentally developed enough to handle all the potential and negative consequences of sex and relationships.

Well, I was the same as you for a while. I didn't have sex until I was 21 for a lot of the same reasons. And when I finally did.... I made sure I was completely sure that I would have NO regrets afterwards, no matter what. I had been with my boyfriend for a year at the time... and I knew I was in love with him when I finally lost my viginity to him..... but even more than that, I made SURE that I would not regret it afterwards. I had no doubts, I wasn't nervous, I was ready... If you think you might regret it, then wait until you won't. That boyfriend and I were together for 4 years - we recently broke up, but I still don't regret anything. So, before you do anything, just be sure with yourself about how you feel about it and whether it's what you really want, and with WHO you really want. That's my advice anyways =)

And, I agree with the posters that suggest masturbating. Seriously, give it a whirl. Vibrators = awesome.

i don't know if anyone said this, but you also don't have to have actual sexual intercourse to be pleasured by men. hand or oral stimulation feels just as good, if not better, until you know you are ready for sex! the first time a guy when down on me, i realized i discovered the greatest thing on earth haha.

You already got a lot of great advice pro and con. I just want to bring up a completely different angle to consider. Ask yourself if your current fantasizing is a way of distracting you from something else going on in your life? School, for example?

Are you happy with your chosen academic path? Or maybe it's that you just need a breather from study, study, study mode that you've been in for years? Perhaps you are craving a more balanced life that's not all work?

sunshower this quote is really offensive to, I'm sure, many women on here "I've never really seen the big deal about "saving yourself" or thought of my virginity being this really precious thing that I had to *give* to somebody. Who came up with that idea, anyway?"

And by the way, for women who are Christian and decided to save themselves until marriage the idea came from the BIBLE! That's where. So don't belittle the women on this thread and all over the world who have decided to interpret and follow the verses in the Bible that says you should wait until you get married to have sex... I don't know if you were trying to be rude, but it really did come off that way.

Its totally but that doesnt mean your ready. Just know that sex is a HUGE responsibility, educate yourself about STD's and STL's, birth control and other types of contraseptives. Im not sure how you want your first time to be or with who, just be careful and make sure your are doing it for urself. Losing your virginity is a big deal!

But my advice is to wait as long as you can! Sex can be beautiful but it also can cause you ur life if ur not careful. Oh and make sure ur partner is STD/STI FREE, if possible get tested together.

read literotica.com and buy a Rabbit from Amazon.

You so need a vibe! If you are looking for a beginner vibe i can help you out but seriously dont go and sleep w/ someone just cuz your horny. we all get like that at times. you just need to know how to push your onw buttons and help yourself out. Self pleasure is very natural and we all do it as children, but we are taught not to touch outselves there and be become repressed. have a couple of big O's and see if that doesnt take care of your concentration problem.

I completely agree with sunshowers83 and one of my biggest pet peeves is that this is never an issue for men. I'm a lesbian and agnostic so saving myself was never an issue. I think that your first time is a delicate situation and you should have it with someone who isn't necessarily "special," but someone who who is sensitive to your feelings and body. It can take a long time for women to adjust and start liking sex, so why any woman would want their first time to be on their wedding night if they're straight is beyond me. Women waiting until marriage is a horrible double standard that isn't about the uniqueness of sharing sex with one person, but is based in archaic traditions of ownership. I do believe you should be comfortable before you have sex because if your not comfortable than your not relaxed and if your not relaxed it won't be good and than what was the point. But I don't believe you should feel bad or feel like your disrespecting your body. Disrespecting your body would be having unprotected sex or sex in situations that are uncomfortable for you. When you have sex and are enjoying it, talking about it with your partner and going about it in a safe way, you are respecting yourself.